The Goodbye

I wonder which song must be listening to Alejandro Valverde these days. The one that we play over and over again, as a reflection of our spirit. The one that has been able to accompany him on the long journeys during the Vuelta a España, in solitude with his mixed thoughts and feelings. The one that today it´s already pure nostalgia of the days spent in the race. Mine has always been the same for more than a decade: Sky and sand. I put it on a loop in that melancholic week that we all suffer when we return from our bubble to the reality of our days. 

It´s kind of unique the intimacy generated between those of us who are part of a grand tour, although many of us don´t  even know each other. Among the thousands of stories and emotions experienced by all of us, the common point is their intensity, passion and the common places. This coexistence makes us accomplices and intimates, and also forces us to miss each other even after a few days. 

There I am, like the rest, dealing with the nostalgia of the days gone by. It has been a Vuelta of welcomes and farewells. A delightful surprise to see Juan Ayuso, only 19 years old, on the podium of his first grand tour, Carlos Rodríguez, 21, at a spectacular level and with a promising fierceness, and Enric Mas at his best both physically and emotionally. A hope that calms the duel after the retirement of the last of the greatest, the one who will lower the curtain on a spectacular generation -with the permission of Luis León Sánchez who will do so in 2023-, Alejandro Valverde. 

On Sunday in Madrid, Alberto Contador and I had Alejandro live for Eurosport. It was three minutes in a very nice intimacy between the three despite being surrounded and seen by thousands of people. It was not easy to control emotions. To avoid breaking down, I had to fight against the understanding of being with those two great riders in the history of cycling, who are also part of my personal and professional growth. Their story is inevitably linked to mine. I had to stop thinking about how lucky and how grateful I was. And the invisible wall that exists between cyclist and journalist, as happened in his day with Alberto, who is now my colleague, began to crack in front of la Diosa Cibeles. I would have said many more things to Alejandro but the lump in my throat didn´t help. At the end of the interview and still live, he hugged us with the affection of all those years, pure sensitivity and feeling. When we went off-air, we melted into a hug while we both burst into tears.

Minutes before, Joxean Fernández Matxín had also been very emotional in his last race as sports director after 30 years. Another goodbye. Not to mention Vincenzo Nibali, who closed the circle of his career with his participation in the Vuelta, after having won in 2010 when we all met the great cyclist he was called to be.

On my return to la Vuelta five years later, I have lived each day with even greater enthusiasm and happiness than when I used to go every year, practically taking it for granted. I have recovered the dream of the Laura who started cycling and who wanted to be in every race; I have regained part of my identity. This made me think about Valverde and Nibali, both at the end of their story, and about the emotional tear that must be giving up the dream in any of its versions and in the middle of our lives. Those who are on the other side and who have already gone through that trance encourage them.

Like Nibali, I wrote my book "Metiendo codos" (published in 2020) also with the idea of ​​closing a circle. The generation with which I started my career as a cycling journalist put an end to its story while I was about to become a mother, with the great unknown of what my life would be like from then on. My luck is that another circle has unexpectedly opened, and although I allow myself to grieve, I don't miss out on the fortune of writing a new chapter in history, this time from the very beginning.